Last Night This Hyperlink Ruined Your Life
This morning I woke up in a cold sweat screaming again. This time however, my night-terror didn’t involve any gay celebrities or nightmare-gremlins. It was much scarier than that. I had a dream that I was a blogger. Then I realized that I am a blogger! YIKES. A blogger that hasn’t blogged on his blog in a blog’s age. How terrifyingly embarrassing!
Right now there are blogless children in Africa forced to blog about celebrity gossip and LOST theories using pens and paper while I have a perfectly good online-diary that I don’t use.
Dear Red Cross, Please send more blogs.
Whatever. They wouldn’t know what to do with a blog if they had one. A child with a blogspot is like a dog with a chainsaw. Or a cat with a gun.
I can’t remember the exact saying, but you get the point: Pictures of cats with guns are cute and hilarious!
Unless you’re a confused, teenage boy. Then they are apparently terrifying and sexual. Case in point:
Whoops! Did that accidentally turn you on? Considering the the type of reader (my mom excluded) that this online-diary attracts, then you are probably ROCK HARD right now.
Regardless, YOU’RE WELCOME. It’s not everyday that an online-diarist comes along and blows your mind.
I’m basically like the Morpheus of the online-diarysphere. Blowing minds and opening up new worlds of confusing and scary sexual possibilities.
Take the blue pill and this online-diary entry ends and you wake up in your Friendster homepage. Or take the red pill and I’ll show you how deep the horror-hole goes.
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February 19, 2010 at 1:56 pm
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