Feb
25
2009
If a Blogger Cries in the Middle of an Internet and No One Cares, Did It Happen?
Today while I was checking the Search Engine stats for my online-diary, I noticed a disturbing trend:
Nov
12
2008
The Internet-Stork Just Delivered a Beautiful Bundle of WTF
Since this is supposed to be a math-blog (mlog, you guys. I just coined it), I figured I would post a fun equation and see if you little monsters can solve it.
Katie Couric + Steve Gutenburg x INTERNETS = ?
Whoops, I forgot that the only people who read this online-diary are eleven year-old girls and convicted-criminals.
Here, let me help then: Katie Couric + Steve Gutenburg x WTF = BabyMaker3000.
(via Switched)
“Make a Baby”? I don’t think I’ve ever been more nervous to click an INTERNET BUTTON in my life.
Whoops, check out the results after the jump…
Nov
7
2008
If Your Blog Had Genitals, Would They Be on the Outside or Inside?
So apparently INTERNETS has finally developed the ability to tell if you’re male or female - without forcing you to expose your genitals to a webcam. PROGRESS.
Introducing the Gender Analyzer (via Urlesque).
Being full of wonder and curiosity I naturally entered my online-diary into this charming contraption. Check out the shocking results after the jump…
Oct
8
2008
The Internet Is No Longer Safe, You Guys. Let’s Just Pull the Plug.
Today while I was photoshopping my friends’ heads onto the bodies of PLAYGIRL
models (I have a problem) I realized something…My friends’ heads look
fucking amazing superimposed over naked, well-oiled bodies.
Just kidding. I realized that the Internet must be destroyed.
Do you understand what madness I had to endure just to find a few
pictures of naked, 80’s era saxophone-playing lumberjacks and
taut-bodied horse-wranglers? Do you know how many circles of Internet
Hell I had to travel through to reach the creamy, pornographic center
(sorry)? Five, my babies. Five circles.
Now since you just received your INTERNET LICENSE for your third
birthday, you probably have no idea what I’m talking about. So allow me
to take you on a virtual tour deep into the darkened pit of this
terrifying hellhole of insanity we call INTERNETS:
Apr
2
2008
We’ve Traced the Blog and It’s Coming from INSIDE YOUR HOUSE!
Listen: This will be brief because I am running late for my custody hearing and if I miss one again they will surely take Jasmine away from me forever.
Very quickly though, I would like to dispel some myths about online-diaries and the sexy, young internet-magicians that conjure them up:
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