This morning I woke up in a cold sweat screaming again. This time however, my night-terror didn’t involve any gay celebrities or nightmare-gremlins. It was much scarier than that. I had a dream that I was a blogger. Then I realized that I am a blogger! YIKES. A blogger that hasn’t blogged on his blog in a blog’s age. How terrifyingly embarrassing!

Right now there are blogless children in Africa forced to blog about celebrity gossip and LOST theories using pens and paper while I have a perfectly good online-diary that I don’t use.

Dear Red Cross, Please send more blogs.

Whatever. They wouldn’t know what to do with a blog if they had one. A child with a blogspot is like a dog with a chainsaw. Or a cat with a gun.

I can’t remember the exact saying, but you get the point: Pictures of cats with guns are cute and hilarious!

Unless you’re a confused, teenage boy. Then they are apparently terrifying and sexual. Case in point:

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