Today while I was checking the Search Engine stats for my online-diary, I noticed a disturbing trend:

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I almost considered not online-diarying about this since it has nothing to do with Hilarious Baby News or Retarded Tigers, but then I realized that this blog is apparently just about Scary Sex Toys now.

Sorry, mom. Your son is a blogger who blogs about sex toys. It’s not your fault though. I blame public schooling and rap music.

Anyways. I don’t know if this counts as a “toy” since toys should be fun and not painful, but I’ll let you be the judge of that. Except for you , mom. You should never, ever read this web-log. Please delete this site from your e-bookmarks. Actually you should probably delete all of the internets from your bookmarks, because they are scary places filled with scary people.

Full Too Sexy For Work WTF-ery after the jump…

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Well, my darling babies…It’s official: I am the oldest person on INTERNETS now.

It feels like just yesterday I was a little tweener, stapling pictures of Katie Couric to my bedroom wall, learning long division, and killing small animals for fun.

Now all of a sudden I’m buying adult diapers in bulk from K-Mart, eating boiled cabbage, and falling asleep at 4:30pm to SUPERNANNY reruns. THIS USED TO BE MY PLAYGROUND. At some point though it turned into an adult day care center that smells like split-pea soup and Lysol.

Now that I’m now old enough to be your grandpa, I DEMAND you start treating me with respect. I am a grandpa of simple tastes so this should be easy for you:

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