I almost considered not online-diarying about this since it has nothing to do with Hilarious Baby News or Retarded Tigers, but then I realized that this blog is apparently just about Scary Sex Toys now.

Sorry, mom. Your son is a blogger who blogs about sex toys. It’s not your fault though. I blame public schooling and rap music.

Anyways. I don’t know if this counts as a “toy” since toys should be fun and not painful, but I’ll let you be the judge of that. Except for you , mom. You should never, ever read this web-log. Please delete this site from your e-bookmarks. Actually you should probably delete all of the internets from your bookmarks, because they are scary places filled with scary people.

Full Too Sexy For Work WTF-ery after the jump…

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I usually don’t announce NSFW warnings because frankly the issue isn’t that this blog is Not Safe For Work. If anything it is Too Sexy For Work (TSFW, coined it). As the title to this online-diary entry suggests, I’m about to take you to some very sexy, very frightening places. This blog is an erotic journey and I am your guide. And we’re never going to make any sexual progress if you keep having to switch over to an Excel spreadsheet every time your boss walks by your desk.

Just tuck yourself back into your pants and wait until you get home. This blog will still be here later tonight. I promise.

That being said, consider yourself warned:

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