This morning I woke up in a cold sweat screaming again. This time however, my night-terror didn’t involve any gay celebrities or nightmare-gremlins. It was much scarier than that. I had a dream that I was a blogger. Then I realized that I am a blogger! YIKES. A blogger that hasn’t blogged on his blog in a blog’s age. How terrifyingly embarrassing!
Right now there are blogless children in Africa forced to blog about celebrity gossip and LOST theories using pens and paper while I have a perfectly good online-diary that I don’t use.
Dear Red Cross, Please send more blogs.
Whatever. They wouldn’t know what to do with a blog if they had one. A child with a blogspot is like a dog with a chainsaw. Or a cat with a gun.
I can’t remember the exact saying, but you get the point: Pictures of cats with guns are cute and hilarious!
Unless you’re a confused, teenage boy. Then they are apparently terrifying and sexual. Case in point:
I almost considered not online-diarying about this since it has nothing to do with Hilarious Baby News or Retarded Tigers, but then I realized that this blog is apparently just about Scary Sex Toys now.
Sorry, mom. Your son is a blogger who blogs about sex toys. It’s not your fault though. I blame public schooling and rap music.
Anyways. I don’t know if this counts as a “toy” since toys should be fun and not painful, but I’ll let you be the judge of that. Except for you , mom. You should never, ever read this web-log. Please delete this site from your e-bookmarks. Actually you should probably delete all of the internets from your bookmarks, because they are scary places filled with scary people.
As head blog-master at LastNightSomeBabyNewsHappenedSoTodayIBloggedAboutIt.blogspot.com, it is my job to bring you the latest in Hilarious Baby News, and so I apologize for letting news of this first pregnancy slip by me (Get it? Babies are really slippery when they’re born. It’s called a pun and I am the king of them).
a disembodied androgynous robotic head [who] can automatically copy [facial] movements, which are picked up by a video camera and mapped on to the tiny electronic motors in his skin.
Great job, Science. You’ve really knocked the WTF ball out of the nightmare park with this one.
Terrifying video of this robot-madness in action after the jump…
Since I spend most of my day trapped in a labyrinthine nightmare of hyperlinks and BODY BUILDING FORUMS, I sometimes forget how What The Fuuuuck, the real world can be.
It’s 1863 and Union soldiers have discovered a hidden valley filled with dinosaurs. Now the Yankees plan to use the dinos as weapons of mass destruction against the South.
Hopefully Osama bin Laden never gets his hands on this terrifying Dino-Terror-Technology, because I don’t think any of us are prepared for something like this:
Since this is supposed to be a math-blog (mlog, you guys. I just coined it), I figured I would post a fun equation and see if you little monsters can solve it.
